I have raised him since he just turned three. My husband does not have as much patience or know-how when raising kids much less a problem child. 'Then what so often happens is that the parents become more desperate and alienated from their children because they have tried to be loving and have had it thrown back in their faces. I do care for him and would be sad for a short time if something were to happen to him, but in all honesty, it would really be a relief. 'Attachment-disorder children appear to have no conscience, and they do not experience conflict as painful. Our journalists will try to respond by joining the threads when they can to create a true meeting of independent Premium. Get our best stories delivered to your inbox each day! First of all, regarding your son, I have much to say. I agree. #Insightsbs. try again, the name must be unique, Show{{#moreThan3_total}} {{value_total}} {{/moreThan3_total}} comments, You may not agree with our views, or other users’, but please respond to them respectfully, Swearing, personal abuse, racism, sexism, homophobia and other discriminatory or inciteful He gets so mad!! He does scare me sometimes. The babies arrive to the U.S. between 5 and 7 months old. She had always wanted a large family and, unable to have her own, was happy to adopt - including, after George, a handicapped child. It was quite a while before one of the social workers said "you're depressed and need to go to a doctor". This is the point made by Philly Morrall, national co-ordinator of PPIAS (Parent to Parent Information on Adoption Services) which offers a support network for parents of children with attachment problems. One of the reasons he left her was she was neglecting the son. I used my family and friends as sounding boards, but it's hard enough understanding the problems that your own kids have, let alone the added problems of adopted kids. PPIAS, Lower Boddington, Daventry, Northamptonshire NN11 6YB, (0327) 60295. He had dreadful fears and seemed to be full of dark terrors, but there was no way we could get close to him.'. I really don't like hearing you say that "he will never be normal". You can't just put the children in an adoptive house, stop paying and stop worrying about them and the parents. 'Then there were some enormous outbursts, which I think was him testing us out. One thing you need to remember is that he is a hurt and lost soul. We had to hit the ground running from the moment the children arrived. ', During the first week, in a room that Lucy could view through a one-way mirror, George was taken through his life story. Discover your likelihood for turnover. Scarcely any help is available in Britain for this condition. It allows our most engaged readers to debate the big issues, share their own experiences, discuss . 'At the age of 10, she began to slash herself with a razor blade and started stealing, but when we confronted her with the evidence and tried to talk to her about it, she would look us straight in the face and tell outright lies. But his therapeutic foster mother - who did not usually work with him - and one of the therapists provoked him until he expressed his fear and anger and through this he began to talk about his feelings. I also realised he was in terrible turmoil. As the state governments review making the adoption process easier, I urge them not to ignore the crucial need for ongoing external support. He says they cannot give or receive affection; are self-destructive and frequently mutilate or put themselves in physical danger; cannot tolerate limits on their behaviour; have difficulty in making long-term friends; will not look you in the eye unless they are extremely angry or want something; and are highly manipulative. Due to the sheer scale of this comment community, we are not able to give each post Your decision on whether or not to adopt is ultimately up to you. 'It's not difficult to imagine what three early rejections meant to that baby's sense of trust, and we had no doubt that it might be hard going for a while.'.