6. “All right, I’ve got you this time. There are literally too many of these bar jokes to list all of them here so we’ve tried to select some decent ones for your pleasure. The bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here." To which the man pounds his fist on the bar and yells “If I wanted a damn lemonade, I’d ask for one!”. I’ll pay for everything.” The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves. [tw_divider type=”line” height=”20″], An Irishman walks by a bar…it could happen. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. The first man walks out after five minutes … As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. I grew up on a farm in Ireland with my brother, and every day after we were done working we’d go to the pub for a pint together. A chicken walks into a bar. Looking for more hilarity? The woman looks up “panda” in the dictionary. “We don’t serve your type here!” Here are 50 short jokes anyone can remember. This goes on for a while until one day the Irishman comes in and orders a single pint. The bartender brings him the pint and asks “Is your brother OK?” The Irishman replies “Oh, my brother’s fine. “Yeah,” replies the guy. Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, “A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table — whole!” “Sorry,” replied the guy. "Your money isn't good here." The Irishman replies “See, here’s the thing. Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_GB/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.7"; “I am.” “Well, wash your frickin’ hands,” says the man. amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; The bartender says: “We don’t serve poultry.” The chicken says: “That’s OK. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. A panda walks into a bar. The other guy says, “I don’t know, what was her maiden name?”, [tw_divider type=”line” height=”20″]A baby seal walks into a bar, the bartender says, “What will it be stranger?” The seal responds, “I’ll have anything as long it is not a Canadian club.”, So…. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. "Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" “Yes,” she purrs.